im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
