Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
