one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
