I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
