he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
