Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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