My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
