it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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