Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
