Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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