i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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