Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
