true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
