And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
