Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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