i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
