Who did Billy Mays play for?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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