so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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