I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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