Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You made out with two different species that night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
