YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
