what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
