Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
