saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
