That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
found the other keg... it's in the tree
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
