ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have tasted many bathrooms
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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