are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
