i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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