I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
