I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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