I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
