What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
