That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
