I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
