apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
