That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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