My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
