Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
