Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
