I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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