I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
