Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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