Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
