Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
