Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
