But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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