So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
