I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he fucked my hip out of place.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
