I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
