so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
