Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
